


Are you happy?

by dino_friends_personal_space



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware
Genre: Angst, Dr. Coomer and Benrey and Tommy have mental breakdowns, I literally forget about Benrey the second half of the story lol, Tommy's birthday party!!, We got Forzen, there is one sex joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:08:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25019020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dino_friends_personal_space/pseuds/dino_friends_personal_space
Summary: They finally got to Tommy's birthday party! :)Though, they found out it was a game...
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Are you happy?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the “Are you happy?” HLVRAI animatic. It's so good, please watch it!

The pizza was bland but the people he was with provided enough flavor to the party. Gordon chuckled as Tommy tried to do a trick with coke and mentos before running off to the arcade with his soda-soaked lab coat. Gordon was holding a cup of soda while he watched Bubby and Dr. Coomer dance. He sighed, taking a sip of soda, glad to be done with Black Mesa. 

“Yo” A flat voice said. Gordon jumped in surprise, almost dropping the cup. It was Benrey from outside the window. 

“Yeah, uh, hey” Gordon said, his tone hard and sarcastic as he was clearly annoyed by the mere thought of Benrey.

“You got a lil scared there, heh. You little scared baby man?” 

“Hey. Shut up with the insults or I’m leaving” Gordon said, backing away from the window. This seemed to snap Benrey out of their insults and quickly exclaim a “wait” in a slightly panicked tone. Gordon smirked, sipping the soda. He couldn’t determine which flavor it was but it seemed to be a combination of sodas from Darnold’s mixology experiment. 

“Can I, uh, get the Gamer level up level pass let in?” Benrey asked. 

“What? You wanna get let in? Hell no” Gordon replied. 

“BBBBBbbuth it’s Tommy’s birthday and I’m a, a Tommy’s friend” 

“Dude, you literally tried to kill us” 

“Not! Not on purpose! I-” Benrey trailed off, mumbling his last words. 

“Huh? What was that?” 

“N-nothing but please bro, from one gamer to another. Lemme in, it’s, I got a thing for Tommy” 

“What is it?” 

“Not gonna sayyyy. Bro.” 

Gordon sighed, exasperated. He walked away from the window despite Benrey’s calls to be let in. Benrey turned away from the window, feeling their face getting warm and eyes stinging with tears. They plastered a sarcastic smirk on their face, as if to scoff at their mistakes. Benrey didn’t understand why they ended up being the villain. Because of that, Benrey wasn’t invited to their best friend’s birthday party and as to add insult to injury, the whole party was completely visible from the windows. 

Benrey felt a hand on their shoulder. They turned and saw Forzen with a flustered expression full of determination. 

“It’s okay” Forzen said in an inconsiderately loud voice, causing Benrey to winch. 

“Yeah, uh, bro” Benrey said, nodding to him. They both stood in that awkward position, Benrey slouched over, tensing their shoulders and Forzen an arm’s length away with his hand on Benrey’s shoulder. Benrey shakily put their hand over his and gingerly squeezed it. 

“I’m sorry” Forzen said

“‘Bout what?” 

“Everything. This. Here. Now. Then. Us.” Forzen said. Benrey sighed, relaxing their shoulders and taking Forzen’s hand in theirs--both of them still an arm’s length away. The two of them used to be so close before Benrey got involved in Black Mesa. Forzen was their only friend before Tommy but that changed when Forzen left to pursue his military career. Then Benrey was left alone. And they had to find out about the game themselves. They hadn’t talked since the breakup. 

“I, I forgive you. For leaving and shit.” Benrey said, turning towards Forzen but keeping their eyes downcast. Forzen let out a little hum in acknowledgement. 

It was a while before either one spoke up again. 

“Do, do you know what, what this is it?” Benrey mumbled, giving Forzen’s hand a small squeeze. 

“That this is a game? Yes.” Forzen said, his voice breathy as if he was whispering, but loudly. “I found out during one of the top secret experiments in the US army. There was something about how the atoms in the universe are only either 1 or 0 meaning we are in a computer” 

“Forzen?” Benrey asked, the name like a familiar yet foreign word in their mouth. Forzen tensed up. “Can, uh, don’t think-I’m can do the-” 

Benrey stopped with the words and instead took action, wrapping their arms around Forzen. Forzen let out a small ‘huh’ in confusion and emphasis before returning the hug tightly which lifted Benrey off the ground. 

“Benrey. I’m so sorry. I know that I must have hurt you and I’m so sorry that I left you and that you had to find out about the video game yourself. I know there’s nothing I can do to get the time back with you but I’m so glad you’ve forgiven me. I don’t know when this game is going to end but…” 

Benrey stopped listening. Forzen was good at impromptu speeches but they got the gist of the message: Forzen was sorry that he left Benrey and wanted to continue where they left off. Benrey rested their head against Forzen’s chest, feeling the vibrations as Forzen spoke and let out a sob, colors from their Black Mesa’s sweet voice dancing around them. 

Later, they sat against the side of the building in silence, sharing the flask Forzen had in his vest. Forzen didn’t want to talk about his military career so Benrey filled the silence talking about Tommy, Gordon and of course, video games. Eventually, Forzen decided to sneak Benrey into the restaurant in a minions suit so Benrey could give Tommy the gift he had: a hug. It was the best Benrey could do at this point, but they were glad they were able to give something back. 

“Gordon?” A voice spoke up. Gordon turned to see Dr. Coomer. 

“Hey, Dr. Coomer! What’s up?” Gordon said.

“Do you have time for a couple of questions?” Dr. Coomer said, causing Gordon to drop his smile slightly in concern.

“Yeah, what is it? Is something wrong?” Gordon said, concerned.

“Are you happy?” 

“What- what do you mean? Happy at the party? Of course!”

“Are you happy? About your life and place in the universe, Gordon, I mean.” Dr. Coomer’s voice quavered slightly. It was almost a plea. “You’re on your own from here. We’re in a video game; we can’t come with you. We can’t get out, Gordon” 

“I suppose I am happy. But, why do you ask me?” 

“Are you happy to the bones of your being? To the depths of your soul?” 

Gordon remained quiet.

“I just want to know if I succeeded, Gordon. It’s our purpose--my purpose--to make you happy. And if I didn’t do that, well, I know I failed. But, seeing your expression here and now, it looks like I have. Do you have any recommendations, Gordon?” 

Gordon was quiet still. 

“I’m sorry, Gordon. I promised that I wouldn’t get emotional but it looks like I did” Dr. Coomer said, using his lab coat sleeve to wipe his moist eyes dry. “If you hated it, that’s fair. I know it was traumatizing to say the least” 

“What, what are you talking about? Dr. Coomer?” Gordon said, finally speaking up. 

Dr. Coomer looked at Gordon in surprise. 

“Why would you think that’s your purpose? To make me happy? Even if this is a game or not, you, you gotta live for yourself. I don’t even know if my world is real or not but that doesn’t stop me.”

“But, what else is there to do? We, all of us, were made specifically for you, for your adventure! We, we all have different places in your story as the supporting characters. We aren’t real!” 

“Dr. Coomer, you’re real to me! All of you! You’re not some coded program anymore, you’re real. Even if your world isn’t. Don’t say that.” Gordon said, placing his hand on Dr. Coomer’s shoulder. Dr. Coomer let out a small sob, burying his face into his hands as Gordon pulled him into a hug. 

“The game might be over, Gordon, and I don’t know what is going to happen next. But you’ve changed us all, for the better. We’re all aware now and we’ll never go back” Dr. Coomer said, wiping his tears away and breaking the hug. “Enjoy the party Gordon” 

Gordon smiled softly as Dr. Coomer headed off to see what Bubby was doing (Bubby was yelling at one of the coin pushers, threatening to tilt the machine over. I guess arcades are just like casinos) and headed over to where Tommy and Darnold were. 

“Oh, hey Dr. Freeman. Cake’s gonna start soon. It’s birthday cake flavor which doesn’t have a specific flavor” Darnold said, excitedly as he clicked the button on the arcade game. There was no coin so the game hadn’t started but still he continued. 

“Look what I got, Mr. Freeman” Tommy said, flashing Gordon a smile to reveal vampire teeth. “I got it for 100 chuck e cheese tickets!” 

“Wow, uh” Gordon said “Just that? For 100?” 

“Yeah :)” Tommy said “Oh! And also Darnold got me this bouncy ball too! :0” 

“Yeah? How much was that?” 

“One thousssannndddd tickets, Mr. Freeman!” 

Gordon decided to change the topic. This place was really like a casino, ringing kids dry of their parent’s hard-earned cash for a couple of dollar tree toys. 

“What game are you playing there, Darnold?”

“Nothing, Dr. Freeman. Do you have a coin?” Darnold asked. Gordon nodded and passed over his one play coin. 

Gordon thought of the concept of video game character play as other video games characters. Would those video game characters have the same sentient feelings as they did? Maybe that’s why Benrey liked playing video games so much--because he realized that other video game characters have the same feelings as him. Or maybe he was over analyzing it--

“Whatcha thinking about, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy said, snapping Gordon out of his thoughts. 

“Huh? Nothing much Tommy” Gordon said, taking note of Darnold’s insanely high score. How long was he thinking about video games? 

“Really?” Tommy said, about to ask again before dropping it after seeing the cake arrive. 

“Thomas, the birthday cake flavored birthday cake is here” G-man said calmly, gesturing to the table. The science team gathered around the table and G-man the 37 candles with a snap of his fingers. Tommy gasped excitedly, stars in his eyes.

“Dad! Can you make the flames rainbow?” Tommy asked, pattering his hands against the table. 

“Certainly” G-man said, making all the flames dance in different colors causing Tommy to smile. 

“Look, it’s just like your sweet voice, Benrey-” Tommy started, looking around the table for Benrey. Tommy’s smile fell when he didn’t spot his best friend. G-man nodded the change in Tommy’s demeanor and hastily changed the subject. 

“Well, Thomas, it is cake time. What flavor are, are you hoping to get?” G-man asked, preparing to slice the cake. 

“Any, I guess” Tommy said, circling his finger around the small soda droplet on the table, clearly distracted. Eventually, the mood dissipated and the others got to talking excitedly. 

“Mr. Freeman, do you know where Benrey went? I haven’t seen him all day” Tommy said, tasting the frosting. 

“No, Tommy, they uh, they couldn’t make it” 

“But, Benrey’s my best friend!” Tommy protested, prompting Gordon to look at G-man.

“Benrey will come a bit later, Tommy” Gordon said “For now, let’s enjoy the cake” 

“You sure? Well, then, with that, I’ll save them some cake!” Tommy said, piling some cake onto a separate plate. Gordon sighed, glad to have passed that bump in the road. 

“So, Tommy, how are you feeling about everything?” Gordon asked 

“If you’re asking about the cake it’s really good, Mr. Freeman!” Tommy said. Gordon chuckled at the adorable man. 

“No, I mean about the whole game thing”

“The one Darnold’s playing?” 

“No, I mean about this--” Gordon stopped. Oh god, Tommy didn’t know.

“About what, Mr. Freeman? You look really concerned…”

Shit. What the fuck was he suppose to say? Yeah Tommy, nothing is real, you’re in a game? How would Tommy take it? Dr. Coomer took it really badly. It was Tommy’s birthday though, and he didn’t want to make him upset--

Gordon’s thoughts were cut off by Bubby flinging a slice of cake at him.

“He’s means you’re in a game, bozo” Bubby scoffed, sitting back down as Dr. Coomer gave him a glare. “What? It’s better than keeping it from him like he’s some kinda fucking child. He’s old enough to know. I took it well” 

“Gordon” Tommy started, looking downcast “We’re, we’re in a game? This is just a game?” 

“Yes, and I’m so sorry you had to find out this-” 

Gordon was cut off by Tommy’s hand against his face, his thumb wiping the frosting off Gordon’s face.

“You got frosting on your face, Dr. Freeman!” Tommy said “Let’s try not to waste this good cake!”

Gordon looked at Tommy in distress. 

“You, you sure you're okay with this, bud?” Gordon said 

“Yeah, I’m fine. We’re in a video game, nothing too bad, right? I’m 37 now, not too hard to comprehend” Tommy said, smiling. Gordon saw that in his eyes, there was no smile there. 

The party continued on fine and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Dr. Coomer and Bubby managed to buy out almost all the prizes available and Tommy got a high score on one of the arcade games. Gordon smiled as the scene, holding a party hat in his hands. He was happy. 

He was happy until Sunkist approached him. The golden retriever with the added party hat looked at Gordon with sad eyes.

“What’s up, girl? Don’t like the hat?” Gordon asked, giving her a head pat. He moved to remove the party hat but Sunkist stopped him.

“Oh, are you looking for Tommy?” Gordon said, looking around the room for the birthday boy. He wasn’t there. Sunkist walked away from Gordon and turned back, signifying for him to follow. Sunkist brought him to the bathroom and scratched at the door, whining. Did the dog need to use the bathroom? Gordon cracked open the door and Sunkist practically ran in.

Then Gordon heard it. Quiet sobbing. The sobbing stopped and a voice piped up.

“H-Hey Sunkist! What are you doing here, how did you get in here?” Tommy said, giggling at Sunkist’s kisses and sniffling as he wiped his tears. 

“Tommy..?” Gordon asked, prompting a surprised gasp. Gordon entered the room and knocked on the stall with Sunkist’s golden tail poking out of. 

“Mr. Freeman, uh, I was just--” Tommy started. Gordon cut him off.

“Tommy, open the stall door, what were you doing?” Gordon said. Tommy opened the stall door. He was on the stall floor, arms wrapped around Sunkist, face buried in the dog’s golden fur. Gordon crouched down. 

“Sunkist is a good service dog, huh?” Gordon said, reaching to pet the dog.

“Sunkist is the perfect dog. I made her” Tommy corrected, looking up. Tommy’s face was red and streaked with tears “She’s the perfect dog” 

Gordon chuckled and ran his fingers through Tommy’s hair. 

“What are you crying about, Tommy?” Gordon said. Tommy looked away.

“I wasn’t crying, I was, uh, mas-masturbating” Tommy lied. Gordon cracked a smile, not buying the fib. Tommy looked up, catching his eye “Okay, okay, I was, was crying”  
The two sat there in silence for a bit. 

“Is it because this is a video game?” Gordon said. Tommy nodded.

“I, I didn’t want you to see me like this, Gordon” Tommy said, muffled since he buried his face in Sunkist’s fur. “I don’t wanna make you and others feel bad because I feel bad. It makes, makes everything even badder”

“You shouldn’t have to go through this alone, Tommy. We’re here for you” 

“‘S not so bad, I got Sunkist.” Tommy replied, holding Sunkist closer “Sometimes, Benrey but they aren’t here right now…” 

Eventually, the two got up and Tommy splashed his face with some water, playfully flicking some at Gordon. 

“You still got some frosting on you,” Tommy said, referring to the slice Bubby threw at him earlier. Gordon worked to wipe off the HEV suit. The room was silent other than the sound of the faucet running. 

“Gordon” Tommy said, turning off the water and looking into the mirror “This sucks” 

“Yeah” Gordon said, placing a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Yeah, it does” 

“It, it all makes sense now. All the hacks and the, the things I could do.”

Gordon hummed in agreement, encouraging Tommy to let his feelings flow freely

“This fucking sucks, Gordon. This-this fucking. Fuck. I just-- I’m fucking ruining the party.” 

“You aren’t ruining the party, Tommy. It’s okay to feel like this” Gordon said calmly. Tommy moved to pull Gordon into a hug. 

“Please, Gordon. Please don’t ever leave. I don’t, I don’t want you to go, please stay here. Stay, Gordon, stay and just, turn on the hacks. Please. We can have fun together, and it’ll be more fun than, than this party” 

“It’s okay, Tommy, I’m here now.” Gordon said, his stomach dropping. He didn’t want to leave but he would have to. Tommy was frantic, hugging Gordon tighter as if Gordon would slip away at any second and leave an empty hole in his life. Gordon closed his eyes, allowed a couple of his own tears to slip out and Tommy rested his head on Gordon’s shoulder. 

“I’m here”


End file.
